The Melarky Legacy - Chapter 6 - The Pretty Boy Heir

 Welcome back to the Melarky Legacy, where everybody knows your name and probably your blood type. 

Adam, the patriarchal vampire, plays with toys like the Childish dingus he is. 

"You take pictures of us and comment on them like we're zoo animals. I think that's worse." 

Even more Melarkys (Melarkies?) following the fatherly tradition of being an asshole.

Emilie: "HOW DARE YOU SKIP WORK? HOW WILL BE SURVIVE WITHOUT YOUR 150 DOLLAR PAYCHECK?" 

Vincent: "Dad makes thousands just picking up rocks! Chill, Mom, geez." 

The Z twins grew up. 

Time for birthdays! With no cake because...I forgot. >w<" 

Quinn up first!

"I WILL HYPNOTIZE THE WORLD WITH MY SHINY EYES!" 

Whoops, what was her trait? Eh, you probably don't care. I certainly don't.

Posey became a Diva. That's four divas in this family. 

Hello, Adam clone. 

"I'm about to be super ignored, aren't I?"

Yep. Sorry. 

Emilie gets promoted. The stylist career works really slowly. She only gets one client per day. 

How many frickin' dog gnomes does one house need?

As is tradition, Queen Quinn. 

"Effective immediately, I am mandating a weekly blood donation to, uh, make sure the blood banks have enough to save lives." 

Oh, for frog's sake (heh). 

Emilie: "Adam, I need some sugar!" 

What?!? quit fucking around and kiss her!

He did and she regained human form. 

Emilie and Adam go on a date, but not before being hit on by this bitch. 

Blue Sweater: "I'm totally down for a menage a trois!" 

Even if that were possible, I wouldn't download those mods because y'all already whoring around enough. 

Zina isn't a vampire, though, you fucking weirdo.

Oh, apparently Xavier has a boyfriend. 

Xavier: "My bf is totes poggers. On God." 

You can't tell very well in this photo, but Quinn is eating rotten pancakes. 

Vincent: "Um, I don't think you want to eat those." 

Quinn: "My vampire digestion doesn't allow me to get poisoned."

Vincent: "Your vampiric metabolism doesn't manifest until Young Adulthood, lil sis." 

Sim!Me's trying to become a Sugar Baby, I think.

Oh, Zachary's throwing a party. Let's go!

Not before Javier tries the water slide again. Sigh. Should I download the "allow Simbots to interact with water" mod? 

WTF is going on here?

Two gnomes are wrestling. Or I hope they're wrestling. 

Mariner's Gnome: "First rule of Gnome Fight Club, don't talk about Gnome Fight Club!"

Vanilla Gnome: "Oh, is that what we're doing? I thought we were 69ing..."

Sven: "Oh. Was this is a costume party?" 

Hotdog: "Nah, I just like being a hotdog." 

Tina's here at the party. 

Tina: "Zachary's not even here. What the hell? Why would you throw a party then go to work?"

Xavier: "This party is deadass boring. I'm finna go home."

Random Tiger Child: "You are home, dillweed."

Sim!Me is here...raking leaves. 

Sim!Me: "Can never start composting too early!" 

Emilie: "Well, it's unfortunate I missed Zachary. Maybe he'll be home in a bit." 

Tina: "Yeah, that man would live at the damn military base if he could." 

Emilie and my Simself meet officially. Emilie says she hates videogames. 

Sim!Me: "I want to write and paint!" 

Good for you...me. *half-hearted head pats* 

Damn, y'all need to do laundry. Also why is Emilie sneaking?

Oh, she was going to scare Sim!Me but I accidentally canceled the action. Thanks, Ems. Appreciate it.

Meanwhile, Town Bully Wade is upstairs lounging on a bed, looking smug. 

"Any sexy lady wanna come up and keep me company?"

You are on a single bed.

"Doesn't have to be single, bb."

Not in your luckiest life, loser.

Zina returns from...graduation? She's heckling a guest at the party and has some janky ass makeup.

Emilie: "There, Zina. Now you look like a respectable young lady."

Zina: "Word up. On God. I'm a hot piece of ass."

Emilie: "Stop it, dear, you look like you're scratching your butt and that's not respectable." 

Zina turned out really pretty. 

Emilie: "So, you agree? You think you're really pretty?" 

Zina: "Mom, Mean Girls jokes on lost these Gen Z kids!" 

Sim!Me and Tina start mocking some poor woman. That's very rude, Sim!Me, she's just a--

OH. Oh, dear.

Sven: "Hahaha! She looks so funny, I jammed myself into the counter!" 

Flower Hair Woman: "Keeping laughing, little boy. I know where you live." 

Sven: "Oh, now I'm both scared AND horny!" 

TMI. 

Guess what? 

It's party time back at the Melarky house. 

The gnomes are feeling the noise. 

Mariner Gnome: "We're act'lly feelin tha drink. *hic* Has any'ne seen my periscope?" 

Vanilla Gnome: "Is tha' one of dem euph'sms? Why are these dogs surroundin' me?"

Dog Gnome: "We have a bet on who will pass out first." 

Sven: "OH MY GOD, MY BROTHER IS GROWING UP!" 

The siblings are all invited. 

Zachary shows up, looking like a pretentious artsy-fartsy douchebag. 

Zachary: "Hon hon hon, oui oui...I have brought chien de chaud."

Mcdogald: "Aw'll bite yer own wiener awf, ya blitherin' idget!" 

Tina and Sim!Me: *grotesque sounds of bodies fusing together*

We have 3 birthdays to get through! Let's get on it. 

First up, Emilie.

Emilie: "Alright, I'm an Adult. Looking good for 10 kids, eh! Though where'd my hair go?" 

Thankfully no mid-life crisis.

Vincent: "Yaaaay, it's my turn! *bites tongue*"

He gets his final trait, Family-Oriented, which is appropriate.

He looks--

OH. 

Oh, dear. 

Vincent: "Do I dazzle you~?" 

Sven: "Happy birthday, big bro! *smashes face into Vincent's scapula*" 

Lastly, Quinn Rhoda grows up. 

Not sure if that's an appropriate trait for a teen, game. 

Maybe I'm just too jaded by current events. 

She's a fair mix between the two parents, but I think Vincent is our clear heir. 

Rhoda: "Oh, no. Please don't deprive me of my change to give birth to 10 screaming brats." 

After a makeover...

VINCENT'S EVEN MORE HOT. 

DAYUM. 

"Um, does this cake taste off to anyone? I'm feeling super sleepy. I think I'm gonna go take a nap on the couch real quick." 

Vincent: "Um. This isn't the living room. Wait, who the hell are you? Why is it so foggy? Am I in Silent Hill?" 

The Demon: "Hello, Melarky Spawn. We have some things to discuss."

"Oh, God, I am in Silent Hill, aren't I? Are you my subconscious fear and secret

kink for vampire demon women? ...I could get into this." 

"Shut up and look at this. This is who your father used to be. He was a lecherous politician who cheated on his wife and had many, many scandalous dalliances. He skipped across the world while his poor wife and nannies took care of their three bratty children in a 20,000 square-foot mansion." 

"UGH! I don't want to think about Dad doing that! Was that a damn flamingo in one of those shots?!? EWWW!" 

"URRRRRRP! It's enough I had to listen to my parents 'play parcheesi' through the wall, I don't need to see him in full latex!" 

"Wait...why the hell am I down here? What does this have to do with me?"

The Demon: "You're next in line for the heirship. I'm afraid your father's sins taint your whole family line. In the contract, it is stipulated that Adam Melarky's punishment is not complete until he and his 

descendants have completed the legacy."

Vincent: "So, our lives revolve around the torture of one man because we're direct descendants? Are you kidding me? This can't be legally viable!" 

The Demon: "There is no matter of legality. This is a curse. A curse that would bring hell upon you if you don't comply." 

Vincent: "A curse worse than being forced into a life of parenting and thankless labor? I think I'll take my chances."

The Demon: "There are no chances, you mortal peon! There is only anguish! I have ways of making you toe the line, pretty boy." 

Vincent: "You won't get away with this." 

Uh oh...what's gonna happen now? Found out next time on the Melarky Legacy!

Bit of a short episode, but I have a ton of photos and not much time to spare, unfortunately. Tune in next time for: college, spouse-hunting, and more demonic contract negotiations?