Welcome back to the Melarky Legacy, where dreams are crushed and replaced with babies.
You know the drill, you two.
Adam: "I feel cheap."
Emilie: "YOU aren't the one who has to have these babies. Let's get this over with, boxers off!"
The kicked-out kids get part-time jobs and are generally boring.
Vincent: "Mom...don't you think your lingerie is inappropriate?"
Emilie: "I've been wearing it since you were a toddler. You're not turning into a little prude, are you?"
Vincent: "Honestly surprised I haven't become a serial killer."
Vincent goes spouse-hunting.
We're only met with this gray loser.
Bernard: "Thank you for coming to the house! I haven't been allowed out since I was a toddler. Will you be my friend?"
Vincent: "Um..."
Oh, great. I joined a cult of lunatics.
Emilie: "I should just starting mooing because apparently that's all I'm good for, a cow for creating sims."
Yeah, sucks, doesn't it?
Adam: "PLEASE NEVER LEAVE ME *DESPERATE SMOOCH*"
That's totally not manipulative at all.
Emilie: "Of course, I'll never leave you, bb."
Javier Photobomb: "Simhuman displays of affection make my circuits rust."
Vincent gets a part-time job, to learn responsibility.
Meanwhile, his jobless father plays with a dollhouse.
Adam: "Hello, my beautiful wife! Oh, you've covered yourself in whip-cream! I had a big lunch but I always have room for dessert!"
His coming to terms with his torturous immortality might be turning him senile.
Since my simself is in the town, I figured Adam should meet her...me...in this world. I mean, in this dimension. <___<
What I don't like is them HEART-FARTING FOR EACH OTHER.
NOOOOOOOOPE.
They played tag to become friends and then Adam promptly left.
Oh, forgot I took a picture of Sim!Me's new kitten. LOOKIT HOW ADORABLE HE IS
"EEK! Begone, textureless demon!"
Adam throws a birthday party for Tina because he had a wish for it.
Mcdogald: "Ook! Who's this bloody burke in awr hoouse?"
I don't know, some old friend of Adam's. Aldaberto? Almaberto? Something like that.
I focus on the other party-goers and I see this exchange.
Ooooh, is our Vincent gaaaaaay~??
Dude (forgot his name >w<): Hey, sexy. Want these flowers I just pulled out of my butt?
Vincent: "No, I do not want your butt flowers."
Suddenly, Albierto has it out for Adam about the house.
"This room looks like Barbie and Blues Clues fucked and had a hideous pink-and-blue-cotton-candy baby!"
Sim!Me: "Sup, bitches. Save me some cake."
You don't need cake. I can say that about myself, no one else can.
Zachary: "Someone give me a high five. Zina fake high-fived me and I got 'down low, too slowed' and now I got blue balls for a high five..."
ANYWAY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, TINA
Zachary: "If I hold my party horn like this, will you give me a high five."
Vincent: "Oh my God, stuff it, you assface."
She's a Hopeless Romantic! Ho city, there she goes!
And then I promptly saved and moved her out because she's a useless Emilie clone. Bye, clone!
Javier partied too hard.
Adam reprogrammed his wants and I made him a Natural Cook and Handy rather than Hydrophobic and Excitable.
Javier: "4...0...4...fUcK NoT fOuNd"
Sim!Me started to scare me by switching to her sleepwear and making me think she was pregnant. She's not. She's also staring into the distance without blinking.
Sim!Me: "I'm dissociating away from this social event."
Then ADAM FLIRTS WITH MY SIMSELF AND SHE ACCEPTS IT LIKE A HO
TIME OUT
Adam: "Can a man not express his appreciation for the female form?"
WOMEN ARE PEOPLE, NOT PAINTINGS IN A MUSEUM
ESPECIALLY NOT MY SIMSELF
The greatest irony is that they BOTH have this moodlet.
Wade and Zachary are being nerds, doing homework at a party.
Zachary: "God, can someone shut that kid up?!"
Sim!Me...put down the vampire baby.
Sim!Me: "I shall make you and the vampire mine. I'll rename you Renesmee..."
No, you will NOT.
Wondered what Vincent's sexuality was. He has a strong preference for men but is bisexual. Like, damn. That's a lot of gay points.
Vincent: "CAN I PLEASE GO TO BED"
Dog Gnome: "I don't know, CAN you?"
Real dog: "Ook, not before ya give meh smoochies and belleh rubs, laddie!"
Adam: "Can I go home now? Fishing is boring."
NO. YOU WILL FISH UNTIL YOU PISS YOURSELF AS PUNISHMENT FOR BEING A MAN WHORE.
Seriously, someone named their baby Lolita? Eugggh.
Emilie: "I'm in labor."
Adam: "OMG!"
Emilie: "The freaking out is getting old."
1 baby! Named after my dad, hee hee.
2 baby! That's ten babies born!
Goddamnit, Javier! Quit going outside in the rain!
Vampire babies sleep like adult vampires do on the vampire bed. At least on these floor blankets. It's kind of spooky.
I found him near the water-slide this time. Maybe taking away his Hydrophobic trait wasn't a good idea.
All the kids have done this, it's like tradition.
Sven: "As the vampire king of Simotopia, I hearby ban all garlic from food! I don't care how good you say garlic bread is, it makes my tongue itchy!"
I take Adam and Emilie to SimFrance to repair their relationship and have some time away from the kids. Also, I want Adam to skill up his Photography for legacy photos.
A market vendor is seen wearing some Ray-Bans.
"Zut alors!"
Adam sneaks off to make faces at himself in the mirror.
Adam: "I'm a scary vampire! Blelelelele!"
Emilie spends her vacation time reading in silence. Living the dream.
Hey, that's not a French Market! That's a woman!
Adam: "And it's a remarkably well-built attraction!"
I knew giving you a camera was a bad idea.
Adam: "Alright, gonna find me some moolah!"
He finds a gnome!
Emilie: "Ignoring the fashion disaster in front of me. She can go flaunt her cupcake tits all she wants."
Man, their relationship has decayed.
No wonder when your husband is as emotionally mature as a spoiled child.
Adam: "Who da man? You da man!"
Adam's so thrilled to be on a vacation with his wife.
We buy the super expensive camera.
We do some quests.
And ADAM FLIRTS WITH A LOCAL WOMAN.
I'm gonna put a shock collar on you.
Wait, a unicorn in Egypt?
Adam: "Hmm...I wonder if the glue made out of you would sell for a fortune..."
Unicorn: "I will pierce you with my horn and there will be no witnesses."
I always found the scale of World Adventures' scenery very impressive. Reminds me of Tomb Raider in the good days before it became an FPS.
Aliens in Egypt. If you watch the "History" Channel, they supposedly built the pyramids.
Alien: "Wow, what a way to totally dismiss the contributions and intelligence of earlier civilizations. You think we Xirtjehzas dismiss the early civilization of Najofwobji, who build the Finjeingonwgnpine?"
Wow, that just...looks like you bashed a bunch of keys for those names.
Alien: "Alien languages don't translate well to SimEnglish."
Woo! We can take pictures so good!
Back at home, the babies cry, shit, and eat.
Emilie fails at giving makeovers.
Tyler Vajjevvoo: "Dammit, I wanted a new hairstyle, not to be turned into a bull auctioneer!"
Some of the sims have broke ass knees. I think it has to do with the Height Slider I have installed.
Fashion Victim: "Move over Cruella Daville...it's me, Crucio Dedenim."
"I don't know if I need a new style, though!"
Emilie: "Well, seeing as you're a STYLIST yourself, you should probably not look like a drunk meth dealer."
Stylist: "Guess if this doesn't pan out, I could be a historian or museum curate."
Emilie: "That's the spirit! Now pay me."
Emilie gets promoted!
We get a vanilla gnome! I've heard these gnomes can have kids.
Vincent is very doting to his young siblings. He'll be a great dad.
Wade, meanwhile, bullies little girls like the loser he is.
June Anaya is still pulling tricks.
"Oh, these young men keep me in my prime!"
Some gem transfiguration gets us some good shit.
Hells yeah!
...wouldn't a blow torch or a chisel work better?
"CHAINSAWS LET ME EXPRESS MY RAGE"
Okey-dokey, then.
I forget to cake the toddler. Grow up, already.
Fitting for this family.
Rhoda: "Pass me a blood bag."
Nope, you don't need those until adulthood.
It's the last set of twins' birthday.
Quinn is a fussy toddler that looks a lot like Adam.
And Posey is shaping his way to be a clone.
Apparently, I keep forgetting to give the Mummy teddy bear I bought in Egypt to one of the toddlers. It's cute that you cuddle it though, Adam.
He tops up his Sculpting skill! Though, why is shaping topiary considered Sculpting and not Gardening?
From gem finding, transfigurations, and the odd paycheck every now and again, we gain 50k!
I built a shitty little festival lot because those can be fun.
Okay, game
WHY does an empty lot cost 81000 simoleans if it's designated as an art museum? I thought Adam would sculpt some pieces for his own museum, but apparently not.
So, he gets a job as a sculptor.
Wearing formal wear and taking care of babies is a bold choice.
"It's okay, this blazer's made of plastic."
Vincent tries calling some girls from to school to see if there's any attraction there.
"Hey, so, uh, what you say about marrying me and having 10 babies? Hello? You there?"
Apparently, some gnome fight club is happening on the lawn.
Dog Gnomes: "You done pissed off the wrong gang, Vanila Gnome."
Sven grows up. Without a birthday cake. Because bleh.
He becomes a burglar. Yaaaay!
Sven: "Dat's right. I'm gonna steal your daughters."
Cool, do it while walking to your taxi to another house.
Emilie: "*blorf* Oh no. Oh please, no."
Chill. You just ate some rotten food.
Oh now Emilie's getting inappropriate date requests. I thought you were with JUNE, Warner!
So, after a week of gem-collecting and transfiguring them into Soulpeace, we get enough money to remodel the house.
Say goodbye to the old house! Bye, sucky old house full of route fail!
Ba-dow. Now we're talking. Wish it wasn't raining, but eh.
Here's the playground for the kids and future kids.
The backyard has a trampoline, water slide, and treehouse.
The foyer.
Living room.
Bathroom.
Toddler room.
A hub between the other rooms, which I've designated as an Alchemy lab with planter's rug.
Javier's cool as fuck robotic-themed room
Prison cell Bunk beds for future kids and a dog bed for Mcdogald.
Emilie and Adam's room.
Huge communal bathroom.
Kitchen and dining room.
Vincent's room. His favorite color is Lilac, can't you tell?
GODDAMNIT JAVIER!
Maybe Simbots do decay over time...
Oh, I forgot to take a picture of the new man cave. It's very similar to the last one.
And Adam's first action in the room is to sculpt the Fingercreepers from Elden Ring. *shudders*
While following Emilie to work, I notice my Simself in the salon.
Sim!Me: "My metaphysical narrator counterpart's being CALLING ME A HO?"
BECAUSE YOU ARE A HO
Vincent stops driving to piss himself. Because that's less embarrassing.
And he rolls his LTW.
I have many, many more pictures but let's call it a chapter. Whew. I've never lasted this long on a legacy. Feels good having something to focus on and not panic at the state of the real world. Next time: university, more spouse-hunting, and drama? Stay tuned!
